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User blog:Baluar/God Eater, Fall of the Heavens, epilogue: A new dawn
This is very likely the last fanfic you'll see from me in a long time. No motivation to write or read, really. I just write this because I had the idea while on my way home and didn't want it to be lost. Enjoy! ---- Lina woke up but didn't immediately open her eyes. She felt like she wanted to fall asleep again. The bed she was in was warm and Lina couldn't help but feel it calling her, telling her to embrace the comfortable shadows of the dream world once again. Then she realized she didn't fall asleep before then. No, she fell unconscious and didn't remember how she got there. And waking up was probably the best she could do at that point. With that in mind, she opened her eyes and sat on the bed. She was in a place she couldn't identify. Despite having never been in that particular room, at least as far as she could remember, she could instantly tell it was a medical room. There were no patients or doctors besides her, but the extreme cleanness was there, and so was the particular smell of medical facilities. She wasn't alone in the room. A huge figure she immediately recognized was looking through a window, seemingly unaware of her waking up. "Seemingly" being the key word. -So you're up. - He simply said. -You're a sharp one, aren't you? - She answered. He laughed briefly before answering. -You're learning to be like me. Always nice to have more smartasses around. -So... how long was it? And are there any sequels? He then turned around. His face wasn't exactly as Lina remembered it. Nothing unexpected, but he was clean shaven the last she could remember. Now, however, it looked as though he hadn't shaved in several days. It made him look much older than before. -You've only been unconscious for a few days. And sequels... none terrible. Though it depends on you to decide whether they're good or bad. -Would you like to explain yourself? - She questioned. He turned around again. -You heard what the crazy-ass woman said, right? About perfection and all that bullshit? -Yeah. Your point being...? -She actually seemed to care about it. A lot. So much so that she decided to share it with whoever remained there. -You mean...? - The question remained in the air for a few seconds. -She tried to make you like her. Her ultimate shape. - Lina gulped audibly. - Didn't work, as you probably realized... not permanently, at least, but among other things, you've grown roughly 6 centimeters taller and gained maybe... 10 extra kilograms. She remained silent for a few seconds. -Guess I'll have to get new clothes. -That's the spirit. Silence quickly took over the room. -Where are we? -Remember everyone from your Branch was being evacuated? Well, you were evacuated too. We're in my home... Far East Branch. -Japan?! I don't speak Japanese. -English'll do. Most people know how to speak it, though it's funny to hear some of them speak with their remarkably thick accents. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts, for he didn't speak anymore for a while. Lina was fairly certain something had to be wrong with him. -You know, it's unnerving if you don't say anything. Especially considering in normal circumstances you don't shut up. Baluar laughed, but Lina was fairly certain he didn't find what she said funny. -Oh, yes. That's the way I am. At least, how most of the world thinks I am. Lina made her confusion rather clear with the ensuing silence. He sighed before going on. -I was just thinking of myself for a moment. - She couldn't help but wonder... who else was he thinking on until then? Then it hit her... - I've grown tired of all my battles. Even if I enjoy what I do, it eventually grows... routinary. Don't get me wrong, I very much love to be able to consider clashing with multiple Aragami at a time and survive mere routine, but it makes me feel... unfilfilled. And what's worse, everyone relies on me doing my thing, which is extremely tiring. You know what's it like when everyone expects something from you and you have to live up to it? I'll tell you what it is... tiresome. Extremely tiresome. Everyone expects me to be the kindest man ever, a great leader who's never wrong and a kind man who wouldn't ever refuse to help. And I can't live up to any of that, no matter what I do. It's simply the way I am. -As far as I can tell, you're not like that. -Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the best man in the world. I'm fairly certain I meet your definition of "asshole" pretty damn good. While Lina thought Baluar had a certain undefined charm to him, there was no denying he was an asshole. -I thought so. - He continued. - I am this way because it is the only way I can be around people I don't know. It bothers them much less than actually being myself. -Being yourself? How? -I am naturally shy. I never outgrew it. I just manage to not be silent by being the other thing that defines me. And I don't think I need to spell it out for you. It was as though the word "Sarcastic" floated in the air, waiting for someone to say it. -Ask around when you get up. You'll know that not that long ago I had trouble at socializing. At least being an ass to people means I can establish some connection to them. -Isn't that a bit excessive? -It is. It also is the only way I know that works. Eventually they'll accept me for what I am. - He remained silent for a few minutes. - It's not all there's to it, oh no. I never quite went over my "divorce", either. I jumped at the opportunity to have some extra work to have my mind off of it for a while. -You said you were over it. -Guess what? I can lie. Especially if whoever I'm talking to hasn't known me for more than just a few hours. It's easier if you can pretend you won't ever see that person again. Unfortunately, a couple of things I couldn't have predicted happened, and thus I couldn't lie to you any more. -Like? -Like the fact that I like you. Lina was... uncertain of how she felt with that revelation. -You mean... you are attracted to me? Baluar took a while before answering. -I mostly see you as a friend now... but I can't deny I find you to be a stunning woman. -So then why did you decide to keep up the jackass facade in front of me? -Because it still establishes more of a bond than being completely and utterly silent does... And because while I am bad at socializing with anyone, I am terribly bad at speaking with anyone of the opposite gender... And because I didn't know what to do, and thus went with what is my... default behavior. So to speak. -I... don't know what to say. He laughed again. A sincere laugh, this time. -That makes two of us, then. An awkward silence followed suit. -I... think it is mutual. - Lina said. -I see. - He then turned around and looked at her. - I have a mission to go on. I've been postponing it for a while, just because I wanted to talk to you. -You know our talk'd end up leading into that? -Nnnnot really. I just wanted to see if you woke up. If it ended up going in that direction, all the better. If not, at least I could've been there when you woke up. -That sounds kind of sweet... and rather off, coming from you. -Better get used to that. Now you're gonna see the sweet side of me. Trust me, you'll probably end up begging me to return to asshole mode. -Are you that bad? -Nah. I don't think so. He headed towards the door. Before exiting, he turned around and spoke once more. -Though I have to say, I've never dealt with myself, so I can't be certain. He was exiting, but Lina spoke before he had left. -So what's next? He entered the room once again. -"What's next"? As in...? -As in, what happens now? I'm fairly certain you know what I mean. -Wait.. you're asking me to ACT OVER WHAT I FEEL? Who could've possibly thought such a thing? -One tip: it's not a good idea to be an asshat to the woman you're interested in. -I figured that if you're interested in me even though I've been that much of an asshat all the time we've been together then it didn't really bother you. - To her dismay, Lina realized he was right. - Anyway... He remained silent for a minute before speaking again. -A dinner? - He suggested. -Sounds good. But where? He laughed before answering. -If the doctors say everything's ok, then you can come over home. If not, this room'll have to do. -This room isn't the most romantic thing ever, really. -No, seriously? Lina rolled her eyes. -Oh, and, uh... Before you leave... - She said. -Yeah? -Don't die. -You know, that's some really deep advice. Perhaps you should consider writing it down in a book? Insta bestseller. Every God Eater in the world would buy it in a heartbeat. I already got ideas for the title, if you want some. -Just go out already. -Ok, ok, I'm leaving. Category:Blog posts Category:Fanfic